The Terror of Introspection

It is terrifying to get too close to understanding the dark corners of one’s own soul. The fear stems not least from the recognition that I will not only be appalled by what I find there, but truly that I will admit that here is the true nature of my soul and instead of scattering the darkness, will embrace it at least as ‘true,’ and reveling in that truth will seethe with ‘honest’ and hardened cynicism. A refusal to accept the ‘reality’ of one’s own darkness is not to refuse to admit what is plain, but a refusal to submit to the descriptive as normative or prescriptive. Christians refuse to believe the natural has the final word, but that the supernatural is in reality the final word.

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