“Ignatius Reilly Eats” – Ignatius Reilly is alive and well and eating in Baton Rouge — and blogging about it under a false name.
This Loupe Garou is my new hero, everything I want to be. The review:
Carrabba’s Italian Grill
“The Dreck Just Keeps On Truckin’ – In From Sysco”
August 10, 2009 – Doesn’t like it – The words “LA CUCINA” translates “class,” in lettrés giganté above the wait-staff’s pick-up stationné.
When an Italian restaurant has “Vino Cianti” written really big on one wall, it should also have speakers mounted to the roof that blare, “Welcome, all ye unwashed! He and she who revel in Olive Garden, your table awaits.”
Alleged food: Just like at Los Gallos, the chicken is perfectly square in the exact mass and scale of rubbery beige matter one finds in Progresso soups.
Hmmm… I’ve seen that chicken before. Wait…. Don’t tell me… Yes! In The Big Book of Sysco Things!
Page 133 of the catalog from which one selects one’s ingredients (elemental or compound, never chemically bonded; for that would imply “cooking”) provided by America’s Leading Marketer of Quality-Assured Food Service Products — YES, folks! SYSCO!!!
Ergo, Sysco… Don’t expect anything to taste like it was made here. It tastes like it was made at Olive Garden’s famous Tuscan Institute, AKA the American Home Foods cannery that churns out Chef Boyardee ravioli in Arlington, Texas.
With apologies to the good Mr. Boyardee; who made his own sauces – at first.
I used to find it sad that people are hopelessly inept at distinguishing real from ersatz. Then, I stopped caring. But this place re-dredged all those feeling of pity for the congenitally uninstructable. (The aesthetic autistic)